I have always wondered.. how easy is it to forgive and forget??
when should one forgive?
Is it necessary to forget after you forgive?
Is it better to not forgive and simply forget?
when and where is each of these questions valid? well i have had several incidences in my past That could not be forgiven and yet i did.. several i did not! but i was ready to forget each simply to ease my pain.
But there have been incidences which have not hurt me but made me angry, several i forgot several are still fresh in my memories!
Today something happened in my life that made me realise that not everyone is forgiving or ready to forget things very easily.... some torture you to hell to punish you either my abusing, making you do things you hate, or by simply giving you the silent treatment!

I faced all three and yet i don't think it ends here, there is much more to come i am sure. God grant me the patience and the strength for it all.
I wish i thought of God more often and not just when in trouble!

Dream Interpretation

Dreams, made up of weird stuff...... u keep seeing ppl from everday life doing weird things, things you wouldnt have otherwise even in your wildest thoughts imagined about.
And some say dreams can come true! now i really wouldnt want any of my dreams or rather nightmares( atleast the weirdest of all) to come true.
I have seen close family members having terrible experiences, i have seen close frnds hurt, i have seen me all dejected and all alone and all lost....... Nightmares.. truly horrible nightmares.

I was waiting for a rickshaw in the middle of nowwhere and i was looking at my watch. I was very late. I dunno where i was headed! And suddenly comes a rickshaw and i see two of my frnds in it! its getting kinda stupid now cos i dunno what they r doin there!
They tell me to get into the rickshaw real fast n i do. We tell the driver to hurry up but he's not that fast n i get all figedty...
I tell him to sit in my place and i sit in his. Next thing i see is that i m driving a rickshaw in a rocky mountainy area real real fast.
Next i saw that we were stuck cos ahead of us was a very big Khai ( i dunno what u call a khai in english [:P])
anyways i m supposed to take the rickshaw to the other end n i try to do that......
my rickshaw goes back n i gear up.... take it really fast full accelerator and we fly! Gosh i woke up all scared! i tried to be a hero n i dunno wat happened i guess we fell into the khai or something.
I almost killed three ppl!
Shit.
I hate such nightmares.!
this was yet the mildest nightmare! i get stuff worse n worse and each time i see close frnds and family!
Who can interpret just what is goin on in my head!
Its crazy!
Anyways...... i hope i see something good tonight!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz.........................

Guuuurrrr..........PHussssss!!!!! ....... What do u do when the person next you snores ...and disturbs the silent peaceful night?

Do you wake him and tell him not to snore?.. i tried that once... dint help cos the minute he was alseep he started snoring again!!!!!
Now why do people snore..? whats up their noses that causes them to make such unpleasant sounds?

what if one of the person sleeping in the room is not a deep sleeper and gets way way way way tooooooooo disturbed by the snoring? he cant just stuff his ears with cotton.... nor hide under the blanket or pillow cos they aint really sound proof!!!!!

I have a friend.... he snores like a horse... ( not in literal terms obviously cos i haven't really heard a horse snoring!) but well.... he snores and snores and snores and i cant sleep if we both were to be in the same room!! like yesterday..... i was out with a bunch of school friends to a place calld vargini..... we played cards till late night... gossiped a lot had a lot of fun basically and went to sleep at arnd 6 in the morn..... I was very very tired but i couldnt fall asleep cos my friend was goin gurrrrr..........Phussss!!!!! i dint know what to do !!! i tried putting my head under the blanket/pillow, i even tried shaking him up so that he'd stop snoring but well as i said earlier nothing worked!

finally i just gave up trying to shut him up and trying to sleep! i stayed awake till he finally woke up.. n then i slept like a baby for an hour or so!

Well while writing abt this, i remember another friend of mine in the same group... who used to snore like a horse too... really bugged me out! But surprisingly yesterday he wasnt snoring!! he was sleeping quietly! !!!!!!!!
......let me go and ask him what and how did he finally manage to stop snoring???? I am really really proud of him!! atleast i wont have to worry abt sleeping in the same room with him in future....! :)

By-
Anti-snorer :P :P :P

I have heard of people wanting to go to USA or Australia or someplace to study, to work, for marriage and etc.. but imagine being forced to go to someplace just because everyone else in your family wants to!
And imagine, moreover, your education isnt complete, you still have one last exam to give, you have all your friends, your entire life out here, but your family just wont budge they want to go at any cost!!!

I can barely belive some people! what would you call them selfish?, or would you say that they were actually looking at a better future for their kid?

Imagine having a BF/GF here, you cant meet anymore cos you simply cant keep flying to meet each other!, cant keep talking on the phone cos that would mean late nights for one of them almost everyday!, and you cant even gift each other cos its too far to send and to difficult to decide what the person on the other end might need considering the difference in areas and public out there!

I think kids should be left after a period, give them breathing space let them decide and select what they want, afterall if u keep thinking for the all your life they will never grow up!

why this blog? well just cos i felt bad for someone, someone who's story i have kinda described here!

Oh Man!

Ok its that time of the year again!
applications, deadlines, transcripts to be signed, marksheets to be attested, and a number of other things to be done!

And to top all of this i have to even get reco letters from professors i am sure dont really like me, format SOP's (gosh dont the people in USA have better stuff to do than read SOP'S? (weirdo's), select universities in a country i dont know anything about except what i see on television and obviously television is bound to show a rosy picture! i m supposed to know the geography of this new country so that i can decide which area is better for me!

MAddening!
anyways till i m sane......

jab koi chees dil se chahate ho to saari kayenaat usee tumse milaneki saazish karta hain... or something like that. But i love the line and i like the thought. :)
And i am starting to see a lot of sense in this statement. I mean look around you and you'll see a lot of things ending the way you would have wanted them to ,even though the path may not be what you wanted. I mean raasta kitna bhi unwanted kyu na ho, the end is something you have always desired ... atleast i see a lot of things in my life ending like this.
And some of these endings have led me through very tough times and it was during those periods that i thought that the world is against me! but the end has always been something i wanted.
There is one more ending i am waiting for, if this one comes true, i am going to make this statement my life motto :)

my best friend is me!

Today I found a friend who knew everything
I felt she knew my weakness and the problems I've been dealt.
She understood my wonders and heard my dreams
she heard how I felt about life and love and knew what it all means.
Not once did she interrupt me or tell me I was wrong she understood what I was going through and promised she'd stay long.
I reached out to this friend,to show her that I care, to pull her close and let her know how much I need her there.
I went to hold her hand to pull her a bit nearer and I realized this perfect friend I found was nothing but a mirror.

NEED I SAY MORE?

Oh Man!

Just when u think everything is falling into place, one stitch just has to run out and pulling at the rest!
Its soooooooooo frustrating when all that u plan suddenly is of no use and you have to plan all over again!!!!

i hate this!

WHY?

how can someone fall sick on gokul ashtami?

be admitted under serious conditions on the first day of paryushan?

and be declared as a lost case on the first day of ganesh chaturthi?


i just dont get this!!!!
Losing my faith in God!

Prayer

I read this ,in one of the mails i'd recieved today... titled kiddie prayers,
Exactly my sentiments ...,

Dear God,

Instead of letting people die,
and having to make new ones,
why dont you just keep the ones you got now?

Jane.

[:(]

Time And Tide wait for no one!

Sleeping in my room,, relaxed after a particularly hot and tiring day.
Thinking about myself, thinking about my GRE prep and the exam.
Wondering if i wanted to go to the USA or was i simply better off here.
Thinking about the din outside, the dinner at night, the God damn world,
basically thinking about routine stuff,....

Least did i expect what happened next,
a friend called up, he was on the verge of tears , his mom had just been brought to lilavati hospital.
She was in a serious condition, the docs were'nt sure what she was suffering from n she was deteriorating by the minute.
Some said severe pneumonia was destroying her lungs and spreading to the rest of her body, some said it was an infection of the gall bladder.
A number of tests were being carried out..... the reports-All normal!
He was told that she might not survive if she doesnot show any signs of improvement in the next 6 hours!!
He was lost dint know whom to turn too...he'd lost his dad in a similar condition!
He need to talk , to cry, to let out his anger.....
And we spoke for a few minutes till he was needed again....

A part of me changed in those few minutes, my thoughts shifted from the din, the GRE , the USA, the routine to Life in general!

How important is anything in your life if the most important people in your life are no longer with you?
How important is an achievement when the very people who made of capable of it are no longer around to cheer you?
How important is your life?

I have no anwers ,
i m still wondering,,

In the mean time dear friend I hope your Mother gets well soon,
i hope she comes back home and prepares you a lovely meal, i hope she comes back home to work on those crochet that she so loves,
i hope she comes back soon to the nitty-gritty of daily work!
i hope she comes back soon.....
Wishing her Life and you Strength
Take Care

I Passed :)

I held the sheet gingerly in my hands ,dint want it to get a single scratch,dint want it to fold from any end, dint want it to get torn from any side, it was special ,after all ,the best sheet i've held in four years!
My Passing Certificate... i had cleared, completed 4 years of undergrad!
It was exciting, i was practically thrilled!
I kept looking at the sheet for quite sometime ,just letting the feeling that , i had completed an important part of my education sink in!
I would be called a Doctor, it sounds so royal!
It was so ......i got no words for the feeling of happiness!

I loved it!
today was another one of my happy days!!

I m now an Occupational Therapist! [:)]

I love this image and i love the music :)

The Beach

walking on the beach ....
she saw urchins runnig around screamin power ranger-hum duniya ko bachaenge or something like that,, sounded very funny but very nice at the same time kids are kids after all whatever they do ...its all done so innocently so sweetly that u simply cannot not like them!

then she saw a number of couple some just sitting looking at the vast sea! some cosing up,some just sitting looking at everyone but each other!

she saw people gobbling up chunks of that lovely buttery butta, butter chana, some having mouth watering pani-puri, pav-bhaji n sandwiches!

it made her hungry watching them all eat,, she asked her friends and they went for a round of pani-puri! she wanted the pani-puri to be spicy even though she knew she would'nt be able to handle it..... after the 4th puri she looked all red,like she would cry any minute she almost choked on her 4th puri n said pls make the next one sweet i cant handle this! ! her friends started to laugh. it was one of those days when whatever happens to you u dont get perturbed,, ur happy ,in mood! :)

they then went for a stroll in the beach water! dirty though it was ,,filled with all kinds of things from plastic bags to god knows what! they dint care, the water felt cool.. n the evening was very calm n pleasant!
they stood in the cold water for almost half an hour to 45 mins n dint feel like going back but they had to... it was geting late n they still had desserts to eat! yummm!!!

so they left,, she saw a kid at that point on a make-bike. there was music on the little bike,, some loud hindi song the kinds that makes u wanna dance! n the kid was so happy he went round and round.... when he neared us he tried to honk but since the bike did not have a horn he had to stop ... he raised his eyebrows in irritation n she noticed the wrinkles on his forehead! they dint look good on a boy so happy! she stopped made her friends stop n made way for the boy let him pass!
he smiled again! he was haapy again the wrinkles dissappeared! it was such a lovely day!

they then had dessert at a very famous place watermelon milkshake, kiwi cream, rocher's icecream n green chilli icecream! the green chilli icecream actually had a spicy tinge to it! but the ice cream over all was pathetic they couldnt eat it!
but the rest of it was yuummmmm.......
she licked of every bit of everything! it was soo good!
the day was just perfect!

this was my perfect today :)
i hope i have more of such lovely, perfect, friend filled days in my life! in the years to come :)

Weird Thoughts!

i had written this poetry years ago..in my diary..tht was back when i was a kid in my 11th std!
thought i'd put it up here......

a girl,a wheel,
a wink,a deal,
a boy,a kiss,
a mrs. from a miss,
a baby some money,
what was the deal honey?
a door,a way,
a day of dismay,
for a girl who signed,
a contract of a kind!

pretty neat huh? hmm.m.m.......

weird stuff filled in my head....much to pen donw very little time!
till next time adios!

ME

new in here! i joined this blogging space almost 5 months ago but well i simply never used it!
busy ?? na...
anyways for a start lemme talk about myself.....
as my profile reads i can be irritating, weird, funny, ridiculous,basically very moody all at one time!
for people who know me well know just when how to react / respond! others its gets a little difficult! not everyone understands me, n i dont blame them it has been difficult for me to understand myself over these years! though i do see a ray of hope now! maturing people say! maybe......

i m doing occupational therapy...and not accupuncture as people in india take it to be......
Occupational therapist as the name says i deal with people's occupations .....problems they face in their job, their homes, because of any illness, loss of limbs, any disease!
my job is to make people absolutely independent in whatever work they do..with whatever aids or exercises or other stuff..

my job is therefore of rehabilition in most ways.....
my job is the remaining 50% of the outcome of most surgeries,most medical treatments...... i aid the surgeon in getting the patient out of the hospital asap....
i m proud of what i do..i see the happiness in the eyes of people we treat n i know that i love my job!
so much for today....
sheel