the title says it all.. me i m either chatting, blogging, the latest facebooking and well....watching videos n commenting on people i dunno,, i think i m wasting my life on the internet..... i should probably throw away my laptop :P
or maybe not.. i wont get a job if i throw it away! y m i posting such idiotic stuff here? well like i said wasting my life away :P
lolz!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Another sad day of my life
I wish i could just understand myself! somedays i feel like i know everything about me and other days i feel like i dont know myself at all.... like nothing i do makes any sense to me!
and yet i do it!
I never demand, i never ask, but i feel right? I get upset, I wish things were different but i dont say it! i dont say it till its gets too out of control and then i blurt out. But then its too late and its feels like i have changed... when i really haven't i just din't say it earlier becasue i could not!
People think i am rash and bold and frank! I dont think so... yea i say a lot of things but i just say things that other girls wont but i dont give out my emotions! I might cooly say bad words, i might call people names on thier face, i might party like a nut and scream like an idiot but i wont tell you if u hurt me till i cant bear it anymore! Thats me, and if u dont know that you dont really know me.. you like the girl who can bear it all but you dont like the girl who gives up in the end! and i am that girl who gives up in the end! I cant bear it anymore!
and yet i do it!
I never demand, i never ask, but i feel right? I get upset, I wish things were different but i dont say it! i dont say it till its gets too out of control and then i blurt out. But then its too late and its feels like i have changed... when i really haven't i just din't say it earlier becasue i could not!
People think i am rash and bold and frank! I dont think so... yea i say a lot of things but i just say things that other girls wont but i dont give out my emotions! I might cooly say bad words, i might call people names on thier face, i might party like a nut and scream like an idiot but i wont tell you if u hurt me till i cant bear it anymore! Thats me, and if u dont know that you dont really know me.. you like the girl who can bear it all but you dont like the girl who gives up in the end! and i am that girl who gives up in the end! I cant bear it anymore!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
N we spoke!
Things happen people fight! i thought it will never end! i thought that was that! and then miraculously we spoke! i mean it might be just to make it appear like we are not fighting to end a cold war! but nonetheless we spoke.... and that was the happiest few moments in the past few days! :)
I smiled even if for only a few mins! :)
I smiled even if for only a few mins! :)
Friday, May 29, 2009
there he was waiting for me,
waiting when i dint need him anymore,
there he was asking me to come back,
now that i had moved along,
there he was asking me to love him,
love him when i had stopped,
there he was promising me he'll change,
at a time when i had no patience left,
there he was ..... n here i am .... wishing i could,
yet knowing i can't.
waiting when i dint need him anymore,
there he was asking me to come back,
now that i had moved along,
there he was asking me to love him,
love him when i had stopped,
there he was promising me he'll change,
at a time when i had no patience left,
there he was ..... n here i am .... wishing i could,
yet knowing i can't.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
someone asked me : In your about me on orkut you've written " i m my own best friend"., are you really that lonely? don't you have any real friends?
Now just how do you answer that?
True and not True. I have a 1000 or more friends , a handful few i call best friends. and one I'd do anything on this planet for.
But who is truly my real REal REAL best friend?
Come to think of it now that i am into defining people since the last few blogs lets try and define best friends:
1) someone who knows me inside out?
2) someone who doesn't need an explanation of what i do , when i do it and why i do it?
3) someone who knows just when to hold my hand, hug me or do anything similar?
4) someone who knows when to yell at me and when to calm me down?
5) someone who knows what running through my mind without me having to tell it ever at all, like knows when i am crying on the inside?
6) someone who knows me so well that he/she can predict what i will do and when and why?
7) someone who can read through all my truths and lies?
8) someone who can listen to me through all the nonsensical stuff i might talk about?
9) someone who is just so like me that i'd never be able to tell the difference?
10) someone who likes the kinda things i like and wants to do the kinda things i wanna at the time i wanna do them?
11) someone who'd be like so similar people wouldn't know the difference except maybe that we look different?
12) someone who could pass of as my replica because we have similar tastes?
13) someone who could just be me??????????????........................................................................................................................................
Now that's weird..... i am asking for someone to be me!!!!
Wouldn't it be better if i let everyone be who ever they are and jsut be happy with myself??
I mean that way i have a lot many friends who are not me and i have myself to keep me company.
I think that answers your question buddy,
Thats the reason i am my own best friend. I still have a 1000 or more friends but none knows me as well as i know myself.
Now just how do you answer that?
True and not True. I have a 1000 or more friends , a handful few i call best friends. and one I'd do anything on this planet for.
But who is truly my real REal REAL best friend?
Come to think of it now that i am into defining people since the last few blogs lets try and define best friends:
1) someone who knows me inside out?
2) someone who doesn't need an explanation of what i do , when i do it and why i do it?
3) someone who knows just when to hold my hand, hug me or do anything similar?
4) someone who knows when to yell at me and when to calm me down?
5) someone who knows what running through my mind without me having to tell it ever at all, like knows when i am crying on the inside?
6) someone who knows me so well that he/she can predict what i will do and when and why?
7) someone who can read through all my truths and lies?
8) someone who can listen to me through all the nonsensical stuff i might talk about?
9) someone who is just so like me that i'd never be able to tell the difference?
10) someone who likes the kinda things i like and wants to do the kinda things i wanna at the time i wanna do them?
11) someone who'd be like so similar people wouldn't know the difference except maybe that we look different?
12) someone who could pass of as my replica because we have similar tastes?
13) someone who could just be me??????????????........................................................................................................................................
Now that's weird..... i am asking for someone to be me!!!!
Wouldn't it be better if i let everyone be who ever they are and jsut be happy with myself??
I mean that way i have a lot many friends who are not me and i have myself to keep me company.
I think that answers your question buddy,
Thats the reason i am my own best friend. I still have a 1000 or more friends but none knows me as well as i know myself.
sisters
Love them Hate them... but you just cant live with or without them!!
If u have a elder sister like i do, you are so going to agree to everything i am going to say now.
1) They tease till you cry (she used to enter the bathroom and tell me she was going on a plane and i'd cry and cry because i wanted to sit on the plane too and i couldn't she loved irritating me when i a baby),
2) They torture you till you don't agree to doing what they want you to ( emotional blackmail works wonders here)
3) They tell you lies about what they are doing (even if its obvious even to babies) because they think you are still a baby! (huh!!!)
4) They tell you to learn to do things on your own to grow older and the minute you do anything on your own they come and say what the hell are you doing? you are still small for this ( don't matter if you are a full 24 years old and have enough brains to sustain anything almost)
5) and etc.. etc...
6) They will support you in public (sometimes if the other person is just too rude and not a family member)
7) They will buy you expensive things without people knowing about it because they love you (sometimes hiding it from mom and dad too)
8)They will treat you like a baby and feed you good food (sometimes even when they are super tired)
9) They will try and make everything around you perfect for you.
They are good and they are bad,
they are sweet and they are bitter,
they are funny and they are boring,
you like them and you hate them,
but somehow you cant live without them.
hm.m... hate you, but i still love you sister!!!
If u have a elder sister like i do, you are so going to agree to everything i am going to say now.
1) They tease till you cry (she used to enter the bathroom and tell me she was going on a plane and i'd cry and cry because i wanted to sit on the plane too and i couldn't she loved irritating me when i a baby),
2) They torture you till you don't agree to doing what they want you to ( emotional blackmail works wonders here)
3) They tell you lies about what they are doing (even if its obvious even to babies) because they think you are still a baby! (huh!!!)
4) They tell you to learn to do things on your own to grow older and the minute you do anything on your own they come and say what the hell are you doing? you are still small for this ( don't matter if you are a full 24 years old and have enough brains to sustain anything almost)
5) and etc.. etc...
6) They will support you in public (sometimes if the other person is just too rude and not a family member)
7) They will buy you expensive things without people knowing about it because they love you (sometimes hiding it from mom and dad too)
8)They will treat you like a baby and feed you good food (sometimes even when they are super tired)
9) They will try and make everything around you perfect for you.
They are good and they are bad,
they are sweet and they are bitter,
they are funny and they are boring,
you like them and you hate them,
but somehow you cant live without them.
hm.m... hate you, but i still love you sister!!!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Friends
Friends.. how do u define this term?
1) two people who share anything and everything under the sun?
2) two people who know each other inside out?
3)two people who know each other so well that words are exchanged without the need to say them?
4) two people who are together without really being near?
5) two people who are so perfect together that they dont really need anyone else?
Just how does one define that term?
Today something happened in my life which made me think is this what friendship is?
I have a friend, i think highly of! i might bitch about her, i might crib, but i care don't know why maybe because i shared a dozen memories with her, maybe because i shared some off my deepest thoughts with her, maybe just maybe.
I stopped talking to her for a number of reasons. she seemed too far to talk to or approach, she seemed almost unreachable. I found new friends and she found new friends and we stopped talking. We became just roommates who barely conversed!
This became so regular a part of me that it seemed like this is how it always is with friends as they grow older!
Until today! today we just met at home co-incidentally and i expected an awkwardness but instead the feeling was very warm and welcome.
It was almost as if we had been talking normally since ages and nothing had changed. probably something had but i dint really notice it!
And we spoke like before. normally. Absolutely normally.
It was surprisingly warm and easy!!!!
hm.m.. is that friendship?
6) two people who don't feel awkward when they talk even after ages.
1) two people who share anything and everything under the sun?
2) two people who know each other inside out?
3)two people who know each other so well that words are exchanged without the need to say them?
4) two people who are together without really being near?
5) two people who are so perfect together that they dont really need anyone else?
Just how does one define that term?
Today something happened in my life which made me think is this what friendship is?
I have a friend, i think highly of! i might bitch about her, i might crib, but i care don't know why maybe because i shared a dozen memories with her, maybe because i shared some off my deepest thoughts with her, maybe just maybe.
I stopped talking to her for a number of reasons. she seemed too far to talk to or approach, she seemed almost unreachable. I found new friends and she found new friends and we stopped talking. We became just roommates who barely conversed!
This became so regular a part of me that it seemed like this is how it always is with friends as they grow older!
Until today! today we just met at home co-incidentally and i expected an awkwardness but instead the feeling was very warm and welcome.
It was almost as if we had been talking normally since ages and nothing had changed. probably something had but i dint really notice it!
And we spoke like before. normally. Absolutely normally.
It was surprisingly warm and easy!!!!
hm.m.. is that friendship?
6) two people who don't feel awkward when they talk even after ages.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Always is so difficult!
I wish i could always do what's right for me,
I wish i could always be what i am supposed to be,
I wish i could always be the one to hold your hand,
I wish i could always be your guide,
I wish i could always be by your side,
I wish i could always be that wise,
I wish i could always be your first love,
I wish i could always be the last,
I wish i could always live to make this true,
I wish i could always,
sometimes i wish i could just always say always!
This is for everyone i know and i ever knew,
I might not be there in your life now and i might never come back, you might never look back either.
To those i promised "always" and didn't live up to it, i am sorry it's just that i don't think "always" is possible any more; maybe i just grew up.
and to those who meet me and hear me say "always" please correct me i don't want to make that mistake again!
Always,
Sheel :)
I wish i could always be what i am supposed to be,
I wish i could always be the one to hold your hand,
I wish i could always be your guide,
I wish i could always be by your side,
I wish i could always be that wise,
I wish i could always be your first love,
I wish i could always be the last,
I wish i could always live to make this true,
I wish i could always,
sometimes i wish i could just always say always!
This is for everyone i know and i ever knew,
I might not be there in your life now and i might never come back, you might never look back either.
To those i promised "always" and didn't live up to it, i am sorry it's just that i don't think "always" is possible any more; maybe i just grew up.
and to those who meet me and hear me say "always" please correct me i don't want to make that mistake again!
Always,
Sheel :)
Something i have always wanted or maybe...not
I am here, living it! the "AMERICAN LIFE" in some ways!
I cook my own food, i do my own dishes, i do my laundry once a week, i clean the apartment, i worry about rents and bills, i walk to 'School', i ride a 'bike', most of my work is on my laptop - my second love... and blah blah and blah..... i love it..... i hate it!
I have the freedom to do what i want and when i want.. i love this!
I have no one to tell me anything or stop me...... i love this!
I have the right of speech be it in front of my professor or any god damn person.... i love this!
I am in so many ways independent... i love this!
The weather is beautiful its not too hot.... i love this!
I have no one to ask for help when in a crisis..... i hate this!
I have no one to take care of me when i sick, everyone's busy..... i hate this!
I am practically handicapped and i cant travel without a car........ i hate this!
The weather is so bloody unpredictable....i hate this!!!
I love this place, and i hate this place....
I have a 100 reasons to settle here for the rest of my life and another 100 to go back to mumbai!
I hate confusions! and i love the options!
I have finally gone insane i believe!
Or was i always this insane!
I cook my own food, i do my own dishes, i do my laundry once a week, i clean the apartment, i worry about rents and bills, i walk to 'School', i ride a 'bike', most of my work is on my laptop - my second love... and blah blah and blah..... i love it..... i hate it!
I have the freedom to do what i want and when i want.. i love this!
I have no one to tell me anything or stop me...... i love this!
I have the right of speech be it in front of my professor or any god damn person.... i love this!
I am in so many ways independent... i love this!
The weather is beautiful its not too hot.... i love this!
I have no one to ask for help when in a crisis..... i hate this!
I have no one to take care of me when i sick, everyone's busy..... i hate this!
I am practically handicapped and i cant travel without a car........ i hate this!
The weather is so bloody unpredictable....i hate this!!!
I love this place, and i hate this place....
I have a 100 reasons to settle here for the rest of my life and another 100 to go back to mumbai!
I hate confusions! and i love the options!
I have finally gone insane i believe!
Or was i always this insane!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
we'r all the same
I always thought the twenties dilemma is something that happens to a certain slot of people and not everyone is equally affected! i mean i always thought each person is unique with his or her needs and defining someone as having one set of behaviors in not possible!
well i read an email forwarded to me by a friend which spoke about what all twenty year old's feel! and i found myself saying yes to almost everything! in fact lemme not lie i found myself saying yes to everything!!! which was crazy! i mean am i therefore not unique or was the mail specially written to me! :P :P it was damn scary,, cos that meant someone knew me inside out and that thought scared me! because when i haven't really understood myself that easily and someone else is able to tell me what i do and i don't feel is pretty scary!!!!
hmmm.....
well i read an email forwarded to me by a friend which spoke about what all twenty year old's feel! and i found myself saying yes to almost everything! in fact lemme not lie i found myself saying yes to everything!!! which was crazy! i mean am i therefore not unique or was the mail specially written to me! :P :P it was damn scary,, cos that meant someone knew me inside out and that thought scared me! because when i haven't really understood myself that easily and someone else is able to tell me what i do and i don't feel is pretty scary!!!!
hmmm.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
